WHILE WE WAIT

Just wait for me,don't go away.Just for a moment,please it won't take long......She walks away and goes beyond my sight.I stand alone where she left leaning
on a wall.I'm speechless.She went away without a word.I keep standing in there thinking all sort of things.Her pretty face continuously blinks infront of me,
the mysterious eyes she had didn't even look at me.It started raining,a slight drizzle.I just walk along the empty road not knowing where i'm going i walk
alone.I remember her dancing in the rain like a little girl.
I am walking but i find myself wet and i do not even bother questioning why?I was cold,the coldness that i've never felt.I remember clearing her wet hair from
her face and giving her a gentle kiss.Her looking at me and having faith in me that i'd never do her harm.I look back to see if she changed her mind and came back
but no,all i can see is the winter breeze blowing straight to my face,I know that she had some reasons that she left because she'd never been that quiet anytime.
she could have told me but she chose not to.Even if she did not tell it very easily anytime i knew she loved me and so did i.Now with the chattering of bird and
wishpering of the trees i try to find the words that she spoke.I search the face of mine which she made looking at the stars at the night but it seems the stars
at the night have gone.she took 'em with her.
But you know i found something she left back,She had left a note for me writing "I'll be back".The photographs that i had i look through them and remember her.
I wait for her to come back.Her perfect walk and elegant smile always run through my mind.I miss her every single time of the day.With the days passing by i try
to forget her.Everytime i see the fountain,i remember sitting with her in there and talking for hours.May be our time had ended and i accept the fact that she is gone
and I'm all by myself now.She never came back though.

                                                "It feels right,It feels wrong
                                                 feels like when you have it
                                                 then its gone,I want more,more
                                                 and more and if you steal the fire give
                                                 me some cuz the sun disobeys while
                                                 it wait for a friend to arrive from
                                                 the past what hods us
                                                 around an around while we wait"
                                                 -Jack Johnson (while we wait)
                                                   

THE COFFEE MUG

Coffee spilled on the table,the blank pages stained dark brown with coffee stains.The bed not made and the curtains closed,the T.V lying on the corner like a Drug addict
in Rehab.No he had not watched T.v for a long long time,all the dust on the screen pointed it that way.Posture of Monalisa on the wall couldn't have looked more lifeless and
the book racks as empty as a Prostitute's heart.The state in which the room stood yelled out loud that a man in distress lived there.

The door opened and slammed shut,he bolted it from the inside,hung his coat on the hanger,took out his shoes,sat in the rocking chair facing the window but with curtains on.
He sat there in silence for a while.He did not want to speak,he did not want to observe,he did not want to exist,he did not want to breathe.He was cold as a razor blade and
silent as a tombstone.No hurry,no anxiety.No he is not paranoid and he is not afraid at all.All he seeks is comfort in the silence of a room locked tight and the curtains
closed.He stands up walks a few steps,reaches the coat hanger and puts his hand in the side pocket,a sound was made of 2 metals striking together.It was the keys and from
the pocket he pulls a pack of cigarettes and smokes one.

"You are a liar,you have no respect,You cannot love,you can never love anyone" a voice yelling inside his head startled him as he nearly sticks his own arm with the burning
cigarette.The voices inside his head were always getting louder and louder stirring a rage inside himself,he did not want to believe and he did not want to give in to the
evil which were trying to bring him down.He was angry,he was frustrated,he was agitated and still he was calm.His eyes throwing a constant gaze at the Monalisa poster but
lost in some other piece of memory in his head,his hands were shaking once in a while like a tremor or out of anger or fear within himself.

Wait,I'll bring you an umbrella it's about to pour.You wouldn't want to get wet and let cold catch you tomorrow. Ok sweetie he said and he waited,She returned with an umbrella
and he took it from her small,soft hands.He kissed her on her cheeks,told her to take care of herself and he left.He remembered this little piece of rendezvous with his girl
in his head.He was in distress,he certainly was not well.He had all sorts of thoughts running in his head,all sorts of that of her.Her tiny nose,her large eyes with eyelashes
painted black,her dark lusty hair and how effortlessly he used to clear her face of that lovely hair,her calling out his name and his telling mmmm hmmmm and hers telling
nothing,Her holding him tight and close to her and putting his arms around her tight so that no one would take her away.He rolled his phone and saw all her texts and the
picture they had clicked together in anticipation of always being together and having 2 lovely kids.Oh it was madness.It was two young people madly in love and there was
nothing wrong with that.Love was their friend and they were each others.He is out,he shakes his head in an attempt to awaken himself from the worthless dreams of memories
in which he has been swimming lately.He was dreaming out loud and it had to end now,right at that piont.He couldn't take it.It was and it had been mundane for way too long,
the apathy had taken over him and he needed to rise above it.He had to abate the pain and depression.He had to let go of what had kept him holding on for way too long.

He took his phone out and dialed her number from the speed dial he had put her on.Her picture from the phone staring right into his eyes.It rang,rang,rang and rang but it was
not to be received.The phone ringing close to her beside her lifeless body which was laid to rest by him.Yes he killed her.She yelled at him,she cursed him but she loved him
too,and he loved her too but the bullet that came out of his gun at the very moment did not dare to love anyone.He finished what he held dearest to his heart thats why he was
ditressed, thats why he did not want to breath.thats why he missed her more than ever before,He was in shambles and he could not get out of it even if he tried his hardest to.
He took the life out of her and ran home straight away slammed the door shut and bolted it from inside but not before one last moment of togetherness.He laid beside her holding
her hands and asking for forgiveness and kissed her in her forehead and then he had run.

He was prespiring,he took the gun out of the pocket of his coat leaving the keys as it is which had earlier made sound striking the gun.He took it in his hand pointed it to his
temple and flashback ran through his head as he believed he faced the last moment of his lives,her face flashed before his eyes and the trigger was pulled.The bullet pierced his
skull right through with ease and he fell.He fell on the table and the coffee mug on the table fell and spilled the coffee on the blank pages.The blank pages of his life.

Blank,yet not as empty as anyone would think.